Being reserved is a virtue

I think that being reserved is one of the most underrated. Even the definition you get at most online dictionaries doesn't fully explain this characteristic of the person in its full colour.

The way our society functions right now doesn't promote being reserved; the opposite is that those reserved mostly suffer from ridicule and low public opinion.

In the world of social media and the world of information overdose, those that choose to keep their opinion and their life details to themselves are chosen to believe to be stupid, or not interesting instead of wise. The main reason for this is that those that don't say their opinion out loud are thought to most likely not have an opinion and not really versed on the topic. In reality though, when the person is not really vocal on the topic and is known to be reserved, that person most likely knows the topic so much in-depth that he chooses to get more details before saying anything. In addition to that, that person's whole nature makes sure that the opinion is given if the person was asked of it.

On top of that, what is the reason to share an opinion on everything, for those that are able to control their inner demons of selfishness, showing as having an opinion doesn't benefit anyone in any way.

Dunning-Kruger effect or overconfidence

The graph that you can see above is a great demonstration by Dunning-Kruger of the idea that I am conveying. Those that have little to no knowledge are very confident in what they know, and they are at the peak of “Mt. Stupid” for most of the topics in their life. Most of us have the same understanding of most of the topics, and we are stuck at the same peak of the high confidence and low knowledge mountain.

The difference between reserved and the average human is that reserved people have the same graph, but it is shifted down. They tend to underestimate how much they know, and so they lower their confidence level lower and lower. For the true geniuses, the graph looks completely different and resembles a more gradual increase from the start of a learning journey to the higher wisdom with confidence increasing proportionately.

Why is this even important? Why does this matter?

The main reason is because we are surrounded by people who can be classified as know it alls or people who behave as if they know everything. In reality, those people most likely won't have a good understanding of any of the topics and are stuck at the Mt. Stupid for every topic they discuss. Those people not only spread false information; they also have no idea how many inefficiencies they make, sometimes even ruining other people lives with their knowledge and advice.

On the other hand, the reserved person would never share anything on their own, even if they are at the plateau of sustainability. That is why if you find a reserved person always ask them as many questions as possible. If they don't know something they will outright say it, but if they do know answers to your questions you are in for the best solutions that you would ever get on the topic.

My main take away for you is to try to be reserved. Don't jump at every opportunity to share any knowledge that you have. Being a know it all doesn't show you in a good light, and to those that are real professionals and know their stuff, you will be disgusting. Don't be like that and study and learn more before sharing the information in public.

Klim Y